Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
