I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
