He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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