so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Randomize
