saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
