dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
