he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
