white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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