Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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