i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
