I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
