Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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