we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
