Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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