He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
