It's like God shit irony all over that family
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
