I just pynch a tree in the face
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
