I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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