Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
