actually, I'm a sock model
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
