Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
