I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
