It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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