Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
