Your mouth is God's brothel.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize