So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize