Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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