I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
