I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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