I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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