dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
