OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
