Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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