During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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