this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
