Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
