Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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