True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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