dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
