Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
