how can u be prego again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
