Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
