I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
