I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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