oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
