Swine flu. Run for my life!
please come you make the beer taste better
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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