You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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