If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
