News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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