I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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