Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
