Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
