I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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