i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
