And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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