Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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