It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
