Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
soo... how was my night?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
