I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
