Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There r osticjed everywhere
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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