did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
