Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
