i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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